Holding a Family Together Through Illness

For Mdm Salbiah and Mr Selamat, life has been a steady test of endurance. The couple live in a 2-room rental flat with their two youngest sons, Farhiszal and Farhisrus, who have become their primary caregivers far earlier than most young adults ever expect. What once was a modest but stable household changed when illness began arriving one after another, quietly at first, then all at once.

Mdm Salbiah has lived with Pervasive Depressive Disorder since 2014, alongside diabetes, high blood pressure, heart weakness, nerve problems, and more recently chronic inflammatory arthritis, iron deficiency anaemia, and gout. In 2024, the same year her husband fell ill, she was also diagnosed with stomach cancer and now attends follow-up appointments every three months. Simple tasks have become exhausting. “Walking to the toilet and back to the sofa feels like walking 30 to 40 kilometres, or climbing 10 to 20 flights of staircases,” she shares. Dressing, bathing, and moving around require help, even within the home.

When Work Stopped and Caregiving Began

The couple once worked at a fast food restaurant, earning just enough to make ends meet. When Mdm Salbiah’s leg pain worsened, repeated medical leave led to her dismissal. Mr Selamat became the sole breadwinner until February 2024, when he suffered a stroke. He woke up one morning to find half his body weakened. Doctors later discovered fluid in his lungs and declining kidney function. He has since been certified unfit for work until June 2026.

Despite his own fragile health, Mr Selamat worries deeply about being a burden. During an ICU admission for severe cellulitis and worsening kidney function, he requested to be discharged early. “I try to be strong for him,” Mdm Salbiah says. “I come to the hospital and sit at the food court for a while to steady myself, so that I can appear strong when I see him in the hospital bed.” Their sons try to visit whenever they can. “We try to visit every day, even though sometimes it’s hard for me to travel. My son helps me.”

Their eldest at home, Farhiszal, has been the family’s main caregiver but will be enlisting in January 2026. Farhisrus, who was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder and Intellectual Disability in early 2025, has stepped into the role despite his own challenges, helping both parents with daily care.

Choosing Between Medicine and Meals

With no employment and limited assistance due to Mr Selamat’s residency status, the family survives on community support that barely stretches far enough. His medical expenses alone cost $608 a month. Insulin must be refrigerated, making uninterrupted utilities essential. Yet the family now faces over $5,000 in utility arrears.

They have sold belongings, borrowed money, and shared one meal a day to cope. “My son and I share a meal a day, to save on the cost for my husband’s diapers and medical supplies. It’s not enough,” Mdm Salbiah says quietly. The fear is constant. Without treatment, Mr Selamat would have to stop taking medication for his kidney condition, diabetes, hypertension, and cholesterol. Dialysis may soon be necessary.

Ray of Hope is raising $5,552.82 to cover six months ($925.47 per month) of Mr Selamat’s treatment and medical essentials, ensuring this family does not have to choose between food and survival. “I hope having the help will let us help him,” Mdm Salbiah says. “Help him to live on.”

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